What Horses Have Taught Me About Becoming

They say the average person can recall memories from as early as two and a half years old. I would beg to differ, I can’t remember anything solid before age 10 at LEAST. I couldn’t tell you a single thing that occurred grades one through five beyond what I’ve seen in pictures. But I can tell you that my earliest real memories center around the horses.

I remember one particularly rough day in eighth grade, when suddenly every girl seemed to have darker eyelashes, paint on their faces, and a collective understanding that pigtails and capris were now social suicide. I spent the entire day sitting in the back of classrooms with my hair pulled over my face, then hiding in the bathroom during breaks trying to stretch my too-short pants to make them look longer.

That afternoon, I went to the barn.

I stuffed the pockets of my out-of-style pants with treats and headed to the pasture. As soon as I was within hearing distance, I called to the herd at the far end of the field. Their heads shot up—and then they came running.

They sniffed me all over, brushing their whiskery muzzles up and down my arms. They blew warm air on my face and nudged me for scratches. These massive, beautiful creatures gave approximately zero cares about the clothes I was wearing or the lack of makeup on my face. They were just happy to see me.

To horses, it doesn’t matter how popular we are, how fashionable we are, or how balanced our lives look from the outside. They care that we show up. They care how we treat them.

The stuff that really matters.

It took me years to understand that what the horses taught me that day would shape everything that came after.

Becoming, what’s the point?

“Becoming” is defined as any process of change, or, more specifically, any change involving realization of potentialities, as a movement from the lower level of potentiality to the higher level of actuality. That’s the dictionary.com version, anyway.

Blah blah blah.

I think of it simply as: The innate desire we have to be better. To want more for ourselves. To refuse to settle.

Horses have taught me grounding principles that truly center my own becoming journey—truths I return to again and again when life feels overwhelming or when self-doubt starts whispering louder than my confidence.

They’ve become my checklist of sorts, my reset button.

Horses take care of their needs FIRST

Horses prioritize the basics: food, water, shelter, safety, connection.

If those needs aren’t met, nothing else — not play, curiosity, or exploration — can happen.

Rewind to high school, when my horse and I were training for the biggest event of the year. During a particularly grueling practice, neither my mare nor I could figure out the combination we were working on. For hours, we became increasingly frustrated with one another. 

At the brink of giving up, my mother approached and asked if perhaps my mare needed a water break. That poor horse guzzled and guzzled the moment she had the chance, triggering my own thirst as I realized I hadn't drunk anything all day.
 
Suffice it to say, we nailed the combo shortly after. 

Similarly, our own personal growth collapses if our basic needs are ignored. We cannot “become” all we want to be if we’re starving emotionally, spiritually, or physically.

Taking care of ourselves is not selfish — it’s foundational.

Horses move – But always know their way home

Feral horses (wild is actually an outdated term, did ya know?) travel 40-50 miles a day, yet almost always within the same home range.

They explore constantly — but they never forget where safety is.

Anyone familiar with horses knows that whenever you turn around on a trail, the horses know.

Their heads come up, their ears face forward, and oftentimes their gait quickens. They know exactly which direction leads back to their friends and their home.

Becoming requires movement. You can’t grow whilst standing still.

But you also need a home base — your support system, your values, your people — to lean on when the world feels too big.

Horses accept without judgment

In a herd, there’s no pressure to look a certain way, perform a certain way, or “fit in.” Each horse gets to just…be.

There was one gelding known as the "oddball" at the barn where I grew up. All the riders and boarders jokingly referred to him as such. He had no sense of personal space, was more likely to step on your foot than the ground, always had his mouth hanging open with his tongue falling out, and had an unfortunate habit of eating his stablemate's poop if you weren't watching.

Despite all his quirks, whenever this goober was out in the pasture, the other horses groomed him, loved on him, and treated him exactly the same as they treated everyone else.

We make becoming exponentially more difficult for ourselves when we obsess over how others perceive us.

Horses remind us that we belong as we are already — we don’t need to achieve our aspirations or reach our “ideal selves” before we deserve acceptance.

The Ongoing Journey

Did you learn something new about horses?? I hope so! If not, guess you’ll just have to tune back into the next post. 😉

Just remember: Horses don’t ask you to be perfect — they ask you to be present, honest, and growing. And if that’s all they ask of us, what might happen if that was all we asked of ourselves?

Throughout your journey, maybe you can refer back to these reset check ins — or come up with your own and share them with me! I’d love to hear them. Becoming is never finished, and we’re all just growing together, one step at a time.

Come be part of the herd as we support one another in doing just that! Subscribe to our email list and never miss a new post.

I hope you’ll continue to join me as I explore what becoming looks like — the messy, the joyful, and the real.

I’m so glad you’re here!